


Magnus Bane Stories

by annhamilton



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 3x16 Coda, Alec's neck rune, Angst, Episode Tag 2x08, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Marriage Proposal, Minnor TID spoilers, Slow Dancing, Touchy Malec, Will add tags as I go, pillowtalk
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2019-04-04
Packaged: 2019-05-16 23:50:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annhamilton/pseuds/annhamilton
Summary: Magnus Bane stories/drabbles/codas unconnected unless otherwise stated.Table of Contents inside.Chapter 11. Summary: Magnus teaches Alec the dance he saw and they talk about what Magnus saw while he was unconscious and then Alec has a surprise in his pocket.





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1, Table of contents

[Chapter 2](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821247/chapters/34297475), at her deruneing Maryse is given a gift to take to Magnus from Brother Zachariah

[Chapter 3](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821247/chapters/38642273#workskin), Magnus and Jem coping on the anniversary of Will's death.

[Chapter 4](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821247/chapters/38727572#workskin), Magnus confesses to Alec that he wouldn't put an arrowhead in the box, softMalec, and pillowtalk

[Chapter 5](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821247/chapters/38827544#workskin), Malec slow dancing to The Way You Look Tonight, special Alec POV

[Chapter 6](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821247/chapters/39157561#workskin), Magnus and Max talk after the events of 2x08

[Chapter 7](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821247/chapters/39613657#workskin), Alec's funeral. 

[Chapter 8](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821247/chapters/40732244#workskin), Magnus and Alec babysit Madzie

[Chapter 9 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821247/chapters/41926781#workskin),  Magnus and Ragnor through the years. 

[Chapter 10 ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821247/chapters/42629363)   Magnus+ Alec's deflect rune. Rated Teen and up for nonexplicit sexual content.

[Chapter 11](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14821247/chapters/43441658), Summary: Magnus teaches Alec to dance and they talk about what Magnus saw while he was unconscious and then Alec has a surprise in his pocket.


	2. Chapter 2

Magnus heard a knock on the door Alec was in the shower. He walked over and pulled open the door to see Maryse Lightwood she had been deruned today. "Hello," he greeted.

 "Hello,  I have something for you," she said and Magnus moved to let her in she took the invitation sitting down on one of the couches. Maryse took out a necklace with angel and beautiful intricate designs in gold.

 "Maryse-"

 "The silent brother, Zachariah was at me deruneing  told me to go to you and to give you this." Maryse held out the necklace for him to take. "He also said to tell you that he wants you to have it because jewelry was never his thing and Tess already has a memento"

 "Maryse," he took the necklace his fingers tracing the designs. "Thank you"

 She shook her head, a smile on her lips. "No need to thank me, he said you were a great friend to them. Can I ask who"

 Magnus found himself smiling too at the memories of his time with the occupants of the London Institute. "It belonged to Will Herondale, before his time in the brotherhood, brother Zachariah was Will's parabatai"

 "How did you know them?" Maryse asked.

 "Will came to me for help" Magnus fiddled with his rings. "He thought he was cursed and insisted on finding the demon who did it, its a very interesting story" he mussed.

 "I take it you were close with them" Maryse tucked her hair behind her ear.

 "He spoke very highly of you" she crossed her legs pausing for a second. "Were you friends with shadowhunters"

 "Yes," Magnus answered. "Those boys weren't like any shadowhunters, Will treated me with nothing but respect and Jem-Brother Zachariah was always so kind" Magnus closed his eyes lost in the memories.

 "They must have been good friends seeing as you speak of them" Maryse looked down. "And I have a lot of time for that story if you're not busy"

 Magnus looked at his watch. "I have time" he relaxed fully into the chair. "It was the late 17th century when-"

 

-

 

"No," Maryse said taking a sip of her wine.

 "Yes,"

 "By the angel, Jace is afraid of ducks too"

 "Must run in the family"

 "What runs in the family?" Alec asked his hair wet and a t-shirt and sweatpants on.

 "Fear of ducks" Magnus explained, at Alec's look of confusion. "Will Herondale was also afraid of ducks, never thought I would see that phobia again"

 "Mom what are you doing here?" Alec asked.

 "I came to drop that off." She pointed to the necklace in Magnus' hand.

 "I was Will's but Jem gave it to your mother to give to me" Magnus put on the necklace.

 "Jem?"

 "Brother Zachariah"  

 Alec nodded even though he was still confused. "And how do you know Brother Zachariah?"

 "I knew him before he became a silent brother when he was James Carstairs, I also knew his parbatai Will Herondale," Magnus explained. "Jem was the silent brother at your mothers deruneing. He told her to go to me for help and to give me this."

 "Oh, I almost forgot" Maryse was definitely drunk. "He told me that he heard what you did at the wedding and that you should be careful and he's glad you're happy. Oh, and I directly quote 'A Lightworm really' I think he was joking." Both of them started laughing.

 "Lightworm?" Alec looked so confused.

 "It's a long story, but after Benedict Lightwood got demon pox and turned into a worm Will Herondale nicknames the Lightwood brothers Lightworms, and one married his sister so that didn't help. Well, he also hated Gideon and Gabriel I'm not exactly sure why." Magnus looked at his cell phone reading the reminder for a client. "Well, I have to make a house call. She's an old client." He rushed out the door.

(To be continued)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one is for yuki_chiken and so sorry for the wait, I lost where I was going with this then moved on, well here is my very self-indulgent next chapter.

Mangus walked with Inquisitor Herondale talking about the state of the wards. It was standard procedure of the Clave checking in on the New York Institute.

It was so standard Magnus almost jumped when a Silent Brother came around the corner, his form mostly hidden by the shadows of the darkened hall, he was cloaked in the standard Brother wear, a dark robe that always seemed to be dirty as if the grime, dust, and death that seemed to lurk in the City of Bones had clung to his robes. _“Magnus Bane. Inquisitor Herondale.”_

Inquisitor Herondale looked at him, her features drawn tense with annoyance like it was his fault that The Silent Brother addressed him first instead of her. “Brother,” she waited for him to introduce himself but he only moved forward out of the shadow of the light.

“Brother Zachariah,” Magus instantly recognized Jem’s face, his youthful face with haunted eyes and his dark hair. Also, there were no other known Silent Brother’s who are only in the brotherhood temporarily, their lips and eyes not sewn shut, but instead temporary runes were carved into his cheekbones. “What are you doing here?”

 _“There was a need for a Silent Brother to heal an injured soldier. I volunteered”_ His voice echoed in Magnus' head and his lips did not move.

“The Clave thanks you,” Inquisitor Herondale immediately said her tone businesslike, her stone cold expression softened for a moment.

Magnus knew why he volunteered, he knew what day it was. He knew why Jem’s expression was one that he knew too well. Even though it has been over eighty years the wound of losing a parabatai was still painful, a dull throb from the all-consuming pain it used to be but still Jem had mentioned its like a void without Will. It was a poor distraction but better than moping around.

As they passed each other in the hallway he put a hand on Jem’s arm, “How are you holding up?” It was a dumb question but Magnus asked it anyway, ignoring the Inquisitors confusion.

Jem took a breath and closed his eyes. “As you said, I hurt still, but it has become easier to bear. I might have even grown used to it.” He said in both their heads. It took an advanced Silent Brother to speak to one mind alone, even with just two it was hard to just talk to one, Jem had told him, it was hard to just focus without the words breaking apart random fragments of sentences falling into both heads.

“It still okay to miss him,” Magnus said, he still feels a void of those he has lost but he endures the unbearable and you grow used to the strain and sometimes you find yourself not even noticing the loss. “Even after all this time.”

 _“I know.”_ He said in Magnus’s head it sounded so sad and no matter how many times they do this Magnus is still hurt when he hears Jem sound so sad. _“Go ahead.”_

Magnus yerns to give him a violin but he can’t the Silent City is to remain silent. He smiled for Jem and put a hand on the soft skin of his temple.

“What are you doing?” Inquisitor Herondale asked. Fearful he might attack or something equally as terrible and prejudiced, as if would ever hurt one of his boys. “I demand—”

 _“Mangus Bane would never hurt me,_ ” Brother Zachariah interrupted her, her face only recoiled with more confusion and even disgust, probably because she was shocked a Silent Brother would let a warlock so near his brain. _“He aims to help. He always does”_

 

* * *

 

_On the one year anniversary of Will’s death, they meet on Blackfriars Bridge the sun shining and it shouldn’t be. It shouldn’t be sunny it should a raining so sadly Will would’ve written a sad poem._

_“I can’t go on without him,” Jem said out loud, his hood down and gazing on the water below. No one sees them with their glamor on but Magnus cast a spell so that no one will run into them just standing on the edge, moving. “It’s been a year and it's still unbearable. It was never supposed to be like this.”_

_“You're bearing it, ”Magnus said softly. “Just being here dressed and put together is bearing it, trust me you are bearing it better than most.” Magnus watched Jem take a shaky breath his thin body being rattled by it. “Jem,” Magnus used his nickname because it was hard not to. “I’ve done this many times, it always takes time.”_

_“How,” Jem’s voice broke with a silent sob, but he wasn’t crying, his sharp face hardened by how every muscle seemed to be tensed. “How have you done this. It’s so hard to bear it.”_

_‘I don’t know’ is the first thing that comes to his mind. “It different every time,” Magnus said not sure where he was going like Will as he rattled off a poem out of nothing. “But you have no choice but to bear it, and sometime later you will still find yourself with seemingly unbearable sadness but you have lovely memories to remind you why you carry his memory with you and why you loved him so much.”_

_“I’m terrified for when I lose those, I can hardly remember his favorite poem or the demon pox song,” Jem confessed and Magnus' heart broke with how sad he sounded._

_“I can help,” Magnus said, he would do anything to see Jem smile again. “I can cast a spell that will help. It doesn’t mean you will never forget anything but it will help, and you have to understand it will only prolong the inevitable.” Magnus put a hand on Jems back his silver rings glittering in the sunlight. “But you cannot obsess over the past. You have to let go of some memories, this spell should only be used once a year at most”_

_“You’d do that?” Jem asked stupidly and it brought Magnus back to when Will would offer to do something for Jem and no matter how small and he would ask the same stupid question to Will._

_“You know how I am,” Magnus looked down at the water and he could see the faces of his lost loved ones. Slightly blurred and imperfect but he knew who all of them were. He took Jem in for a hug, pulled Jem from the rail and hugged him. “I love to deeply for my own good,” he pressed his lips against Jem’s temple lingering for a moment, “ and I would do anything for you, Jem.”_

* * *

 

“By messing with your head,” Inquisitor Herondale accused.

Something inside Magnus snapped, Jem put a hand on his arm and he didn’t throw her against the wall. “I’m helping him remember.” Magnus’s hand glowed blue with his magic as he completed the spell.

“Our Silent Brothers have the strongest minds.”

 _“For runes and ceremonies, and I am not a full member of the Brotherhood._ ” Brother Zarcharai said and it was still strange to be defended by a Silent Brother, by any Shadowhunter. _“Magnus Bane it helping me prolong the inevitable of forgetting some moments I shared with my parabatai.”_

Inquisitor Herondale’s face softened and she looked sad, Magnus remembered that she to has known loss, a lot of it. A parent should never have to bury their child. “I—I'm sorry.”

 _“Imogen Herondale, you hold prejudice for a man you saved your ancestor. Without Mangus, you wouldn't even be alive to look down on him,_ ” Brother Zachariah said his voice not raising but getting more intense as is spoke inside their heads.

Inquisitor Herondale looked him. “You did?” She asked. “Every record says you hated Shadowhunters.”

“Will Herondale,” Magnus said his name respectfully. “Treated me like an equal, I helped in every way I could.” It was a low standard to come to love someone who was one of the few who looked at him like he wasn’t a monster but an equal, but Will who was an arrogant prat was so nice.

“You—,” She turned her head to Brother Zachariah. “Your parabatiai was a Herondale.” She was a smart woman but still lagged behind in this conversation. “Will Herondale.” She looked between them the gears in her head turning. “And he was your friend. Small world.”

 _“I do have to go,”_ Brother Zachariah said. He pulled Magnus against him in a hug and let out a breath that made it seem like he had been underwater for minutes. He knew that Inquisitor Heronale couldn’t see him so he pressed a kiss to Jem’s temple. Brother Zachariah let go and walked off leaving him and Herondale alone.

“You were close with him too?” She asked as they continued down the hall, the subject of the wards had been long forgotten.

He glanced over his shoulder and saw Brother Zachariah has rounded the corner and disappeared from Magnus view. “I still am.”


	4. Chapter 4

“It wouldn't be an arrowhead,” Magnus confessed, as he and Alec lie in bed, the golden sheets pulled up to their shoulders and they lay facing each other. It had been weighing on him since Alec said it and he had to get it off his chest. 

Alec moves closer to, so their bodies are touching. His breath tingles Magnus skin and he can feel Alec’s heart beating. 

“What,” Alec said and his hazel eyes looked like broken glass. Magnus studied the lines of Alec's face committing it to memory. 

“The,” Magnus lost himself in his memories for a moment. “The box.” Magnus takes a deep breath and smiles at the good memories that come to his head of past loves. “If you…” When you, is left unsaid because Magnus can't say it. “Leave or die, I wouldn’t put an arrowhead in it.” 

The lights were dim but they were so close Magnus could see Alec's face still and it looked like he was bracing for impact, readying himself for an argument because the subject of the box was a sore spot.

“What would,” Alec paused his face relaxing realizing Magnus wasn't going to get angry. “If you would put something in…. what would you put in?”

“Of course I would,” Magnus said softly and laced his and Alec's fingers together. 

“What if this—” Alec used his free hand to gesture between them, “us, ends on bad terms.” 

Magnus took his hand and tucked a flyaway piece of back hair behind Alec's ear, his touch lingered and his hand slid down to trace Alec's jaw. “I would still want to remember you.”

“What would you put in if not an arrowhead?” Alec asked squeezing his hand.

Magnus closed his eyes tightly, not sure if he wants to bear this part of him. “The omamori charm, you gave to me just because you wanted to.” 

“Why that was just a…” Alec trailed off. The soft light from the windows making Alec look heavenly as Magnus continued to study him.

Magnus’ fingers went down further to trace the deflect rune carved in Alec's skin. “The first gift someone got me in a while without asking for anything in return.”

“That can't be…” Alec stopped his mind spinning and Magnus heart bursts. Alec clearly thinks that it isn't possible that no one would get Magnus a gift just because. 

“Alexander,” Magnus loved saying Alec's full name, it rolled off his tongue perfectly and he never grew tired of saying it. 

Alec locked eyes with him and even though the city lights and sounds were right outside the window, it felt like they were in their own world. A bubble away from everything, in their bed. Their bed. 

Your like no one I've ever been with. I've never felt this way before with anyone, I've loved but never like this. Never with someone like you. Magnus didn't want to scare him away so he didn't say anything of that, but one day he will. “You gave me, the High Warlock of Brooklyn, a charm for protection.” 

Alec opened his mouth but Magnus held a finger to his lips. It was so reminiscent of their first impromptu night together, both of them smiled. 

“And every time I look at it I—” Magnus broke off not sure how to continue. He's prided himself on being good a talking, charming people, flirting, being the most exciting person in the room was his thing. Here bearing his soul to Alec, who he loved, he was still reluctant. The voice of Camille laughing when he confessed something like this, when she found the same box and almost buried it, because, dear you're being too sentimental and you have to get over it. 

“I remember the good moments when I look at it, ” Magnus whispered, he hoped Alec understood why this was so important. 

Alec brought their lips together in a gentle chaste kiss. There was no heat, no tongue but so much love in the kiss. Alec's hand found its way to his waist. Magnus kept his hand on Alec's neck, feeling the deflect rune under his fingers. 

“Good moments like that, ” Alec smiled like a schoolboy. Magnus knew he was mirroring Alec, a goofy grin on his face that no one in years has caused him to have. 

“Yes.” Magnus closed his eyes and relaxed. As he relaxed on the bed he realized how tense he had been. He took a deep breath before fully relaxing, dropping the glamor over his eyes. He didn't open his eyes for Alec to see yet. “It's stupid but just after you gave it to me I carried it around for that day and now it's almost always in my pocket.”.

“No, it's not stupid, ” Alec said like it was the opposite like it was important. “I understand. Well, I'll never truly understand but at first, I felt like I was just another….but I meant it when I said that I don't care how many people you've been with. I just. What I mean is that whatever helps you isn't stupid.” Alec paused his ramble to squeeze Magnus's hand. “If it helps you get through loss, and I can't even imagine how hard that is. It's not stupid.”

Magnus opened his unglamored eyes, Alec gasped and his eyes widened. Magnus knew he was gasping in awe but his heart skipped a beat. Alec was looking at him like he held the world on a string like he was everything. 

(Alec always looks at Magnus like that but only sometimes does Magnus notice.)

“Magnus, ” Alec said after a beat of silence. “I’m sorry for being a jerk, I got jealous over a box with little tokens in it.” Alec’s eyes dropped down and a finger of the hand on Magnus’ waist first started to trace lines on Magnus's skin. 

“I have already forgiven you and it's not the worst reaction I've had,” Magnus quipped trying to lighten the mood. The subject past lovers was a raw spot it hurt because even if they were bad to him it still hurt that they died, he had once loved even the worst of them. 

“Not the worst, ” Alec echoed. He still seemed shocked that people could treat him so badly. “You deserved better, you deserve so much.” He spoke that last part so earnestly. “I'm sorry.”

“Oh my, Alexander, ” Magnus breathed. He pulled Alec in for another kiss, this one more heated than the last, but the wondering hands and tongue didn’t mean this had to go further. Magnus pulled back and stared into Alec’s eyes and he saw a kaleidoscope of greens and browns all more prominent in the lights of skyscrapers that found its way through the windows. Magnus saw a future in Alec’s eyes, of a wedding, a family, lazy Sundays, trips, all of it. He wanted to grow old with Alec and he knew he couldn’t. 

Magnus hid his face in Alec’s neck. He took a shuddering breath, and he felt Alec’s hand on his waist trace swirls that were unmistakably runes. “It was a long time ago,” Magnus said dismissively, moving his head back to rest on the pillow, trying to play off how much it had hurt him.

“Are you okay?” Alec asked, Alec could always see past his defenses, and he didn’t seem to be falling for Magnus’ everything is okay all the time act. It was nice he asked all the time.It was comforting to Magnus and he was going to have a future with Alec, he wasn’t going to grow old but he was going to cherish every moment, he got, its all he can do. 

“I’m—,” Magnus paused, he was going to honest, relationships take work and for this being Alec’s first relationship he hit the nail right on the head, but he was okay, maybe not sunshine and rainbows but he was okay. “I’m okay. It’s just that in my past there is a lot of bad.” Magnus smiled. “But I have a very happy present.”

They were both silent for a moment it felt good to communicate. He felt closer to Alec, only slightly but it was easier to open up to him. 

“Goodnight, Magnus.” 

“Goodnight, Alexander.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hope you liked it. I really love all the feedback.
> 
> +Counting down till Feb. 25 
> 
> +my Tumblr is @breadlovingfangirl come scream with me about fictional characters


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Alec's POV to show how much he loves Magnus, its sort of an interlude.

Alec opened the door to the loft, he loved coming here after a long day at work. He was greeted by jazz music, the sweet sound of a tenor singing was coming from a speaker. Magnus was sitting on the couch humming to himself and swaying a little.

“Alexander,” Magnus said. Alec moved forward to kiss him, hello, it had only been a day but Alec had missed him. “Bad day?” He asked in between kisses.

“The worst,” Alec said dramatically. “Lots of boring paperwork.” Alec plopped down on the couch next to Magnus and found himself enjoying the music playing, it made the loft feel homey. “How was your day?

“Good,” Magnus said. The song switched to _The Way You Look Tonight._ Alec vaguely knew the song. Magnus smiled and took Alec’s hand. “Dance with me,” Magnus demanded and pulled Alec to his feet, Magnus took him to an open spot of the loft right next to the glass doors leading to the balcony. The dark sky made the lights of the city stand out.

“I can’t dance,” Alec felt like Magnus should know this before he decided whether this was a good idea or not.

Magnus didn’t seem to care, he put his arms around Alec’s neck and Alec put his hands on Magnus’ waist. “It’s just swaying,” Magnus said and begun to him again. It was a little awkward and they were off the beat but neither of them cared. Both of them had ridiculous smiles on their faces.

Alec let Magnus lead and he just held Magnus against his body and his heart swelled as they swayed in front of the skyline of the sleepless city.

“And the way you look tonight,” Magnus sung, his voice soft and it felt like a blanket wrapping around Alec, surrounding him and Alec couldn't think of anything else but Magnus. “With each word, your tenderness grows, tearing my fear, apart and that laugh, wrinkles your nose,” Magnus moved his hand to tap Alec’s nose, “ touches my foolish heart.”

Alec laughed and Magnus snapped the lights dimming to welcome the glow of the city. Magnus looked stunning all the time but here he looked breathtaking. The multi-colored light that came from the building that always seemed to have a party going on every floor made Magnus’ necklaces shine and it settled and reflected in his glamoured brown eyes.

“Lovely never, never change keep that breathless charm.” Magnus’ sung getting louder. “Won't you please arrange it?” Magnus pulled Alec down so they were eye level. “Cause I love you,” Magnus said as Sinatra sung the same words. “And the way you look tonight,” Magnus said softly, still keeping the rhythm.

 _“A-just the way you look tonight”_ Sinatra sung, his silky, rich voice echoing through the apartment.

As the instrumental kicked in, Magnus kissed him, it was chaste, just a press of their lips but it still made Alec’s heart skip a beat.

“I love you,” Alec said as he let his head drop over Magnus’ shoulder, he kissed Magnus’ shoulder, then he tucked his head against Magnus.

“I love you too,” Magnus whispered and pressed his head against Alec’s collarbone. The swayed slowly, hardly moving, just wrapped in each other's embrace and there was nowhere else Alec would rather be.

“ _Just the way you look tonight.”_ The tenor crooned and Alec kissed lifted his head to kiss Magnus forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I needed Malec slow dancing as celebration for Friday, school has been kicking my ass but I'm off on Monday so :) 
> 
> +I wrote this to Helena and Sinatra   
> +next chapter Max and Magnus  
> +If someone draws art for this I will cry and love you for the rest of your life.  
> +my Tumblr is @breadlovingfanigrl.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little coda to 2x08 with Max and Magnus, sorry for the wait

Magnus walked into the kitchen, the fight with Iris didn’t drain him magically but it took a toll emotionally. Being attacked in his own home, the people who were becoming family toyed with, played like marionettes. 

He was still shaking, barely a tremor and not noticeable but he couldn’t stay still, his body vibrating with the aftereffects of using so much magic. He used more force than necessary, harness darker magic to hurt her and it always took some time to calm down after calling on that side of him. 

He opened the cabinet and took out a large glass, the unsteady relief hung in the air of the living room where the Lightwood’s and Clary were, still in their finest, spread out on his couches. 

“What happened?” Max asked, coming out of nowhere. Magnus turned to see the young boy standing in the doorway. Max closed the door and stepped into the room looking lost and very young in his little suit. 

“Want something to drink?” Magnus offered instead of answering the question. Max sat on the chair in front of the island and nodded. “Tea. Hot chocolate,” Magnus suggested. 

“Hot chocolate.” 

Magnus snapped and a mug of hot chocolate appeared on the island. Magnus filled his glass with water and sat down on the other side of the island counter. 

“Thanks,” Max mumbled and took a sip. Magnus knew the moment the drink hit his tongue, his face scrunched up and he set the mug back down. “No one’s told me what happened,” Max said looking over his shoulder at the now closed door. 

“Maybe you should ask your family,” Magnus sipped his cold water trying to focus on not shaking. 

“So they can tell me some PG-rated version,” Max said looking down at his mug as if it held all the answers. “I know something bad happened I was in the other room, not Mars.” 

Magnus set his glass down and rubbed his fingers against his pants debating how to play this. “An old warlock attacked.” Magnus figured that Max would find out sooner or later the basics of what happened. 

“How did she get in the wards here are the same as the Institute?” Max looked around, Magnus didn't take offense, the poor boy was scared. 

“She disguised her self as a neighborhood cat,” Magnus said. “She played with your family and Clary, bringing out their fears in hallucinations.” Magnus locked eyes with the boy. “They are in a very delicate place right now.” 

Max nodded and bit his lip. “I’m sorry,” Max blurted out. 

“For what?” 

“For what I said to you,” Max said, his head bent down in shame and avoiding eye contact. 

“It’s fine, and not your fault.” Magnus stood up and set his glass in the sink. “Just parroting what you’ve heard.”

“I think my parents are wrong now,” Max mumbled and finally looked up at Magnus. “They say your bad for the family, but you just saved all of us.” 

“Is that why they fight, because of me and your brother,” Magnus hadn’t been told they were fighting but it was clear in how Max acted, and it was not that much of a stretch. 

“Ya. Sometimes” 

“And let me guess, Jace is Valentines son, Alec is gay and dating a warlock, and Izzy was never obedient and spends too much time with the downworld. So it has fallen to you to bring honor to the Lightwood name.” Magnus leaned back against the counter. 

“Ya.” Max drained half of his mug in a gulp, wincing slightly at the still hot liquid. “Dad gave me the run down over the phone.” Max’s body tensed as he mentioned his father, hands curled into fists. “It’s fine, I mean someone has to do it.”

Magnus knew stubbornness ran in the family and Max could come to his own conclusions later but he had to say something. 

Max beat him to it. “You love Alec?” 

“It’s still early.” Magnus knew he was in love, he fell to fast again, but no one else had to know. 

“That's not an answer,” Max pointed out, his face in the same determined mold that Alec got. 

“It’s not that simple,” Magnus crossed his arms over his chest meeting Max eyes with a stare of his own. 

“It can be,” Max said. “Shadowhunters only love once.” 

“That’s just a saying.” Magnus had heard it before many times as Will Herondale had said that to him as he talked of the necklace with the words true love never dies engraved in them and how Tessa found the words. He had said with a smile on his face, a genuine smile that was very rare, as he had said they weren’t that different. Magnus had laughed it off but it reached his heart in a way only Will could at that time. 

“Alec loves you.” Max sounded so sure. The gravity of it strikes him and the question still hangs in the air, still unanswered

“Jace already gave my the shovel talk, I don’t need another Lightwood to tell me not to break Alec’s heart,” Magnus said in a monotone. “I would never intentionally hurt Alec,” more emotion was leaking through his words. “But relationships can be messy.” 

“Do you love him?” Max repeated. 

“We’re taking this slow,” Magnus said, it wasn’t a lie. They had just had sex but they were still taking this somewhat slow.

“Alec’s already smitten, I’ve been here for like two days and I can tell.” Max smiled, it was a small one and only lasted for a moment. “You make him happy and can save all of us. For what it’s worth I don’t care who Alec dates, but Mom and Dad do.”

“For someone who doesn’t care you seem to have a lot of questions.” 

“I mean I do care who, I just don’t care what they are, Dad told me this was just a fling and Alec was confused and you were using him. But your cool” Max hopped down and smoothed out his suit jacket and shirt. “But I don’t think he’s right on that part either.” Max opened the door. “If you make him this happy then I can see how he chose you over family duty.” 

“Do me a favor Max,” Magnus said his magic stopping the door from being opened, keeping the moment of privacy. “Think about what you want rather then what your parents want.” Magnus let the door be opened. “Trust me you’ll be much happier.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and for all the kudos ya'll have given me  
> +Find me on tumblr @breadlovingfangirl  
> +Always open to prompts and suggestions.  
> +Happy Thanksgiving  
> +Be safe  
> +Love you


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, this is a sad one, so get the tissues ready.

The stain glass windows hang behind the altar, a glowing rune at the center. A Silent Brother dressed in white robes sprinkled roses on the white sheet covering a body of a fallen hero. 

On the altar rests a tomb, of a hero, Alexander Lightwood-Bane who died, sacrificed himself to save teenagers from being killed. 

The five teenagers stand clad in white dresses and suits, red mourning runes on their skin. Clave members are there, not to observe changes to institute but out of respect to the Head of the New York Institute, who volunteered to go on what was supposed to be an easy first hunt for teenage Shadowhunters, but ended up being worse then they thought.

Magnus and the Lightwood family stood in the front, Maryse there on special request as well as Magnus and the four-year-old warlock, Lubna who he and Alec adopted a little over a year ago. 

Alec died at the age of thirty-six as a husband a father, a brother, and a parabatai. Magnus had to be strong for Lubna, who cried into his shoulder and clung to him, terrified that he was going to leave her. 

He didn’t know what to say to comfort her, he didn’t want to do this again, but he had a crying four year old in his arms, he had no choice. 

Magnus looked up and locked eyes with Maryse, who was holding herself with Shadowhunter like poise but Magnus can see the pain in her eyes. Robert stands similarly, both being stoic for their other kids. 

Isabelle and Jace were clutched together around Max. Jace, who felt Alec die, he had admitted with tears in his eyes and broken breaths that it had been painful and slow, but not slow enough for him to be saved. 

Clary and Simon were there and many downworlders since Alec had worked hard for their equality and fair treatment and many respected him enough to attend a Shadowhunter funeral. 

“The remaining may take their place by the fallen,” Underhill called out and they moved up to the altar, he felt Robert place a hand on his back, in comfort and Isabelle took his hand. “State the name of the fallen.” 

“Alexander…” Magnus swallowed a sob. “Lightwood-Bane.” He managed, closing his eyes tight. 

“Pulvis et umbra sumus,” came the chant of the crowd, the words falling from Magnus’s lips in a whisper. "We are dust and shadows." Magnus couldn’t bring himself to say that one above a whisper because his Alexander was more than dust and shadows, he was Magus’s husband, his love, his soulmate. “Ave atque vale.” Magnus managed with the crowd. “Hail and farewell.”

They stepped down from the altar, he hugged Madzie once he reached the floor, then Caterina took him in her arms. “I’m sorry you have to do this again,” Caterina said in his ear as they parted. “Here,” she took Lubna and held her close to her chest, “you look like you need a minute.” 

Magnus thanked her and stayed for a moment as he saw the white whisps come from Alec’s body and ascend. He hurried out of the room, holding back from sobbing as he walked towards the open doors and into a hall. 

He leaned against the wall, the wooden paneling smooth and he fought the urge to slam himself against it until it hurt. He was without Alexander and it was all so real, he put a hand to his mouth and sunk down, sobbing as silently as he could.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it's been a minute since I've updated, sorry for that, also its Lubna because Raphel and Max haven't died in this universe and she had a name when they adopted her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec babysit Madzie

Magnus looked over at Alec at the sound of the doorbell ringing. Caterina had called around a half an hour ago needing someone to babysit Madzie. 

Alec gave him a smile and Magnus used his magic to open the door. 

Madzie ran in, a flash of a purple skirt and small bows ran through. “Alec,” She squealed and ran into him. 

His eyes lit up and he smiled, so much joy radiated from the smile all Magnus could do was watch as his heart swelled.

Alec lifted Madzie up, holding her against his hip as she laughed. 

Caterina—much slower than an excited little girl—entered, in scrubs and her hair pulled back in a ponytail. 

“Thank you for doing this on short notice, ” she said dropping a large flowered bag on the floor and like him her eyes on the adorable sight of Alec. “But she wanted to see you guys.”

He had his head pressed in his hair but it was clear he was laughing. Madzie was trying hard not to laugh but chuckles escaped anyway. 

Caterina raised an eyebrow at him, giving him a pointed look. 

“What?” 

“Nothing.” She checked her watch. “I have to leave. Thank you.” With that, she left, not running but briskly walking out the door.

Alec set Madzie down and fixed one of the two little yellow clip-on bows that pulled her hair back.

He dropped down to one knee and whispered something in her ear that made her giggle. 

She turned away from Alec, her eyes glistening in the light, then ran to him and hugged his thighs. 

“Hello, sweetpea,” he crouched down. “You look gorgeous today.” 

“Thank you, ” she mumbled, a little embarrassed.  
“Now what shall we play,” Magnus asked with a smile. 

Madzie looked down, still a little shy, “can we draw?”

Alec crossed the room and crouched down next to Magnus. He placed a hand on Magnus’ lower back and one gently on Madzie’s arm. “Of course.”  
*  
So they drew, Magnus whipped up some supplies, crayons, markers, paint, paper, coloring books of all kind. Magnus made her giggle when he dosed the table with glitter and made some packs of all kinds of sparkle appear (he left money for all of it.) 

Madzie looked over at Alec’s paper where his horse was drawn, and it was terrible, the proportions were all off, the face looked deformed. Madzie giggled and then looked at Magnus’s drawing, which was a castle. 

“Sorry Alec, Magnus’ is better.” She announced. 

Alec put his hand on his chest in mock pain, his mouth hanging open. 

Magnus leaned over to study her picture. It was stick figures on a garden backdrop, labeled as Cat, Magnus, herself, and Alec. The thing that made his heat swell was that big black letters spelled out FAMILY.

Madzie blushed and sunk down in her seat.

“Aw, sweet pea,” Magnus handed the drawing to Alec. “That is fridge-worthy, I would say, I haven’t seen drawing like that,” Magnus poked her cheek, “Since Michelangelo in 1539.” 

Madzie smiled a little. “You really like it?” 

“Yeah, I really do “  
*  
They laid out, Maize squished between Magnus and Alec, they watching the Lion King with tons of blankets around them and soft pretzels on their plates and popcorn in bowls. 

Alec gasped as Mufasa was run over by a stampede and Simba nudged his dead body. “This is a Dinsey movie,” he said. 

Magnus paused, his fingers ripping at the soft pretzel. “Wait you haven’t seen this?” Magnus asked. 

“NO.” Alec leaned sideways and lifted Madzie a little so that he and Magnus were flush against each other and Madzie was in his lap.

“Poor, poor deprived Shadowhutner, right Madzie.”

“Mmmhmm,” She managed, her mouth full of pretzel. 

“Whatever I’ve watched Disney movies, I think, just not this one,” Alec said wrapping an arm around Magnus and pressed his head into Magnus’s neck and kissed him there, the little girl on his lap not even looking back. 

“This one is my favorite,” Madzie announced, as Simba was chased by hyenas. “And my favorite part is soon.”

“Hakuna Matata?” Magnus guessed, much to Alec’s confusion

“Yeah.” She turned to face Alec, who moved his head back to against the couch. “It means no worries, Alec.”

“For the rest of your days,” Magnus continued, in a sing-song voice. 

“It’s our problem free,” Madzie sung. 

“Phillosofyyyyy,” they both sung together and broke into laughter over Alec’s face. 

“Whatever,” Alec reached for the popcorn and pulled it into Madzie’s lap. He threw a piece of popcorn into his mouth as Magnus’ and Madzie’s laughter dissolved. 

“Oh Alexander,” Magnus said, teasingly. He leaned in and kissed Alec on the cheek.  
*

Magnus dropped his glamor, it was strange and made him feel like he was flying when Alec and Madzie both looked with wonder and admiration instead of disgust and hatred. 

Madzie took off her own scarf.

Alec smiled. “Nice gills,” he said with a smile on his face, that seemed to be a permanent fixture today. “And beautiful eyes,” he whispered to Magnus. 

Madzie smiled only a little, not showing teeth, and shrugged.

Then as Madzie had requested he send a burst of magic up in a small explosion of blue, then he turned it into a lion. The blue lion ran across his palm and around Madzie’s head and disappeared into a shower of sparks. 

“Amazing,” Alec breathed his eyes on Magnus, his face illuminated by the fading embers of magic. 

Madzie laid out her palm, eager to try. She stared at her hand and a smaller but still impressive explosion of power came from her hand, she closed her hand in a fist and the power came in a blob. It dissolved as quickly as it came. 

“That was really great, you must really be working hard with Cat.” Magnus complemented. Madzie looked up beaming a little at the praise.  
*  
Madzie went off to brush her teeth and get ready for bed. Magnus and Alec sat back on the couch. 

Alec moved in front of Magnus and kissed him, slow and steady his hands falling on Magnus’ waist. Magnus put his hands on Alec’s neck and pulled him in closer. 

When they separated before things could to heated Alec took his hand and kissed each knuckle 

“I love you,” Alec murmured against his skin, looking into Magnus’ unglamored eyes. 

“I love you too.” 

They put Madzie to bed after she face timed Cat, who promised she would be back in a little bit and would be there when she woke up.

Alec kissed Magnus again, it was so achingly soft that all Magnus could do was drag him into his bedroom and push him down on the bed.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh this happened, it pretty long but boy I love it, I purposefully kept the years vague so it's canon compliant since there is no real confirmation on Magnus' age.   
> TRIGGER WARNING: this has parental abuse, toxic and abusive relationships, implied/referenced self-harm so take care of your self.

Magnus held his chin up and squared his shoulders. A waiter presented him with a tray full of glasses that were so clean they reflected the light of the mounted torches. Magnus took a glass, not offering a smile to the waiter because no one here does. 

The manor was decorated with the finest paintings, the tables covered with rich fabric or already done with a covering of dark mahogany wood. Magnus looked down at his own suit he stole and his summoned rings that covered his hands, he had no glamor and his unglamored cat eyes shine. He wants to hide in the shadows but that will get him nowhere. 

He walked through the dining room, taking a practiced elegant sip of his wine. The persistent chatter buzzing in his ears and the atmosphere formal but laughter and ease was a parent in the warlocks at the party. They were all so natural.

“You must be Magnus Bane, ” a voice called out and Magnus nearly jumped out of his skin.

“Yes, ” he said and turned to the voice, a tall man with brown curly hair and horns protruding out of his forehead He wore a fancy suit, with textured cloth and many buttons paired with a long jacket. “And you must be the gracious host, Mr. Ragnor Fell,” Magnus brought his drink in a dramatic arch and raised it to Ragnor Fell. “The invite was appreciated.” He chose his words carefully the language still new on his tongue and he didn’t want a heavy accent. 

“My pleasure” Ragnor smiled and looked, Magnus, right in his eyes. “All warlocks are welcome at my house.”

Magus sipped his wine, he didn't even taste it, his pulse hummed and his palms were sweaty enough for him to almost drop his glass. 

“That’s very considerate of you.” Mangus smiled and went to walk away and to another table. Ragnor seemed to have other plans and put a hand on his arm.

“Well, Mr. Bane,” Rangor said his eyes still staring straight at Magnus’ eyes but not in fear. “I must say first your reputation precedes you.

“Good things I hope, ” Magnus said with a flashy smile that felt like baring his teeth as he tried not to wither away from the hand loosely resting on his arm.  

“I do wonder how much is true,” Ragnor said, his smile dropped off his face and Magnus’ stomach dropped with it. 

Magnus said nothing, none of his spying and reading had prepared him for this. 

“I can feel the raw power coming from you, if don’t find a way to control it you will hurt someone and most likely yourself too,” Ranor whispered, his voice raspy and concentrated like an old man’s.

Magnus moved back out of Ragnor’s touch. “You’re wrong.” Magnus bit back, all eloquence and etiquette were forgotten as his tone grew harsh and bitter with the host. “I can handle myself quite fine.” 

“Are you sure?” Ragnor asked his own tone level. Magnus nodded, barely keeping himself from running. “Well if you're ever not feeling so in control my door is always open.” 

* * *

 

Magnus wasn’t sure if Ragnor even remembered him from forty years ago but as he clambered out into a field, he knew he had nowhere else to go. He couldn’t be alone right now, it would kill him. 

He collapsed, most of his magic drained and so sore he felt it in his bones. Magnus rested his head on the wet grass, the humid air made it feel like he was suffocating, trapped in his own skin so he ripped his suit jacket off and unclasped the first three buttons of his shirt, his skin was hot to the touch, yet he shivered.

Magnus’s hands shook and he stopped trying to unbutton his shirt and ripped his sleeves off, up to his elbows, he let the pieces fall into a muddy puddle. He still felt like he was suffocating, his skin was too tight.

Magnus tried to take a calming breath, it came out as a rough cough from his dry throat, his body shuddering with the force. He blinked away tears, every time he closed his eyes he saw fire and amber eyes with black slits to mirror his.  

“What is going on,” A voice said. “You’re trespassing in my field.” It was Ragnor, he must have been bored to come and see the man crumpled in his yard. 

Magnus looked up, the man had glamoured his horns and wore and tailored suit, a white ruffled shirt under his purple plush coat. 

“Please,” Magnus rasped, his throat dry and sore, it hurt to talk so he pressed his lips together, dropping his head to stare at the still damp ground. 

Ragnor dropped down in front of Magnus, his long fingers pushed back Magnus’ long—usually slicked back—hair out of his face.  

“Oh, Magnus,”  Ragnor said softly, he rested his hand on Magnus’ shoulder. “What happened?” 

“Edom,” Magnus managed. Everything blurred as he tried to stand, and Ragnor’s hand shifted to stop him from face planting.

* * *

 

_ There was fire—it was always fire. The dry empty place shifted to a house, filled with candles of blazing hot fire. A  man, a Shadow, his hand on a cane and his body covered in gentleman's suit—tight back button up with many golden clasps—under a long cloak.   _

_ Book are scattered without care and The Shadow opens his eyes and a vortex of amber split by a slit of endless darkness.  He’s not a shadow, his eyes glow to match Magnus’. _

_ He smiled.  _

_ Once, his Mother smiled at him too. _

_ “My son, you’ve finally come to me.”  _

_ Magnus backs up, water and charred skin.  _

_ “I have great plans for you.”  _

_ Magnus felt a Kris in his heart, his own hand the thing that put it there, but there was no blood and it wasn’t him but his mother dead, but the knife still rested in his hand.  _

_ Magnus stepped back—into a pentagram and down to Edom, at Asmodeus feet. Asmodeus laughed, rich and loud, echoing off the empty abyss. Asmodeus put a hand on his shoulder.  _

_ “You will rule beside be,” Asmodeus said, a siren's song and Magnus is ready to walk off the boat. “You have so much potential, unlike my other children.”  _

_ There sun and grass and Asmodeus looks at home by a tree, his tan skin shining unnaturally, the world bent around him, like around a gem. There was blood coating Asmodeus’ teeth.  _

_ “I killed them,” He said emotionless like they weren't people, but he wasn’t a person either. “I won’t hurt you, I stole their memories before and I crave more, you can help me.”  _

_ Shadows fell and Shadowhunters came, blades of adamas glowing and slicing down warlocks. In the fire they went, candles on the branches of holders dripping with wax. Asmodeus’ fingers trace his face, their similar features, dedicatedly, like he’s made of glass.  _

_ “I can’t stay here.” _

_ Asmodeus’ face cracks, a snake slithers out like a tongue, the broken pieces of his face don’t fall, they stay up and are shards of a mirror, reflecting teeth and Magnus. His reflection is Asmodeus and the snake wrapped around his neck turns to a noose, blood, and ash like a beach but ash instead of sand and the ocean is blood. _

_ Asmodeus’ face turns human and he smiled, spreading his hands out in front of him and great arcs of darkness jump between them, his mind spins and images flash, but he can’t remember what is what, here he doesn’t leave he can’t he doesn’t remember how. _

He jolts awake and slumped on a chair. Ragnor is over him and then without a word hands him a steaming cup. Magnus sat up and took his feet covered by a dark purple blanket, the rest of the blanket hanging on the floor, and body still in the tattered remains of the shirt. 

A heavy silence hung in the air as Magnus stared at his tea. 

“How old are you?” 

“Two hundred and seventy-eight,” Magnus answered there was no point in lying. 

“That means you were only around a hundred at my party.” 

Magnus nodded and sipped his tea. 

“What happened?” Ragnor asked, he sat down across from Magnus and snapped, a cup of tea came to rest in his hand. 

“I went to Edom.” 

Ragnor nearly dropped his tea, his mouth opening, and closing, as he stared at Magnus. “How—” He looked out his window, where Magnus once was, “How, Why?” 

“To meet Asmodeus,” Magnus said, so drained from the taxing spells used to getting to Edom and from portaling to Ragnor. “I suspected he was my father.” 

Ragnor saw him there, the eyes that fit the legend. “And you were right?” 

“Yes.”  Magnus gulped down to hot tea, it was clearly enhanced and he felt much better. “I don’t know why I came here—” Magnus stood up, a little unsteady but he didn’t fall, he looked around frantically searching for a door.

“I offered.” 

“Years ago.” 

“I never forgot.” Ragnor gestured back to the chair Magnus had abandoned, Magnus took the offer. “You never stayed out of gossip long enough for me to forget,” he added, a wistful smile on his face. “I knew you were still wild, so I kept my door open for you.” 

“Thank you,” Magnus said, truly meaning it. “I had nowhere else to go.” Magnus looked at his lap. “He took something.” 

“Asmodeus.” 

Magnus nodded, still not looking up. “Some memory.” 

“I’m sorry but I can’t help, once it’s gone it’s gone.” 

Magnus looked up tears in his eyes. “I know it was something important.” 

“I’m sorry.” 

* * *

 

Magnus laid down on the couch, Rangor sat on a chair like a therapist. 

“She had an affair, she didn’t even seem sorry. She invited me for a threesome.” 

Ragnor raised an eyebrow. “Did you say yes?” 

“No.” 

Ragnor raised his hands up as a show of peace. “This is the second time, Magnus, please tell me you're over her,” Ragnor said, very seriously, like he really was a shrink. 

“I still love her,” Magnus looked down at his lap, ashamed. “Camile is the one for me, she’s the only one there.” 

“Magnus, we have been friends for decades, I’ve helped you countless times with everything from training to relationships. I know you think she’s the only one but she’s not.” 

“She is,” Magnus said more forcefully this time. Camille was the only one who’d be there forever.  “She’s immortal.”

“So am I.” 

“No offense, my dear cabbage,” Magnus smirked at the silly pet name, “but I don’t want to date you.”

“I’m just saying, there are other immortal’s who are better for you.”

“I just went too fast Ragnor,” Magnus closed his eyes tightly and saw himself being what he thought was a good lover. “I should learn from this, I need to keep things loose, not overwhelm people with my baggage.” 

“Your,” Ragnor raised his hands and formed finger quotes, “baggage,” he dropped his hands, “if a part of who you are, and how you want a relationship to be is partially your decision.” 

“Says the man, not in a relationship,” Magnus crossed his arms, he didn’t come here for this, he’s not even sure why he came.

“Be careful Magnus,” Ragnor warned. “Or someone will get hurt.” 

* * *

 

Magnus slumped against Ragnor as he pulled Magnus back. Magnus struggled and tried to pry free, but his mind fuzzy from the drinks and the almost sex. The body that was pressed against his, with curves like Camille, dark eyes and hair like her, a laugh like her, was struck with Ragnor’s magic and crumpled to dust.

“I said not to go too far,” Ragnor whispered, “This market is dangerous,” his voice had an underlying tension to it that made it worse then him yelling. He let Magnus go from the cage of his arms and Magnus stumbled forward, wanting desperately to get away. 

“I don’t have to listen to you,” Magnus yelled, he ran his hands through his hair, pushing the short pieces out from his face. “I don’t even have to be here.” 

“Then go,” Ragnor challenged.

Magnus didn’t run away, he was too tired too, he dropped down and sat against the wall, he picked up a fallen bottle of Liquor and drunk straight from the bottle. “I have no one else.” 

Caterina was a new friend but still distant, (he kept her at an arm's length) 

Ragnor lowered himself to sit next to Magnus, he took the bottle from Magnus’ hand, gently, and set the bottle down. 

“I need her,” Magnus admitted. 

“No, you don’t.”

Magnus sighed, his hardon had faded but he was still horny, “Let’s fuck Ragnor, I need it,” he was too drunk for shame. 

“No,” Ragnor said. “You don’t want that. You're drunk and lonely.” 

“You're the only one here,” Magnus gestured to the empty area. 

“I’m sorry Magnus,” Ragnor said, sorrowfully, so sadly that Magnus was sure it was about more than turning him down for sex.  

Magnus banged his head against the wall, so hard it stung, that was what he meant to do, he hit the wall again. 

“It’s going to get better,” Ragnor soothed, his voice soft like a lullaby. “You can’t fix the loneliness with sex.”

“Then how?”  

“Friendship, real connections, don't get me wrong I like a good lay in the sheets every now and then, but you will never find what you're looking like that.”

“I just want sex right now.” 

“You need to sleep,” Ragnor shifted and turned Magnus’ head so that it rested on his shoulder. 

Magnus nuzzled his face in the soft cotton of Ragnor’s shirt. “I need someone,” Magnus knew he sounded like a toddler. 

“I’m here.” 

It sounded like a promise. 

* * *

The numbness was all he felt, the endless black hole of nothing he knew all too well. Imasu walked out the door, leaving only the necklace Magnus got him ages ago. 

He looked down at his own purple shirt it was a gift from Imasu, made from fine cloth and on the swirls of black lines decorated it, his dark pants paired well, he had been ready for a date.  

He picked up the necklace, his hand shaking a little as his fingers curled around the silver chain that held a matching silver pendant with a golden sun curved into it. He curled his hand around the pendant and held it close to his heart like it was Imasu. 

He was too slow this time and he lost Imasu for it. He closed his eyes tightly to shut out the world. Another heartbreak, maybe one day it would be easier, maybe one he could be like Camille. 

Maybe he could be distant, it was a nice thought, as tears rolled down his face. He loved Imasu with all his heart, all his being, but he never told him that, he never bared his soul to the man, never went all out. 

Not like with Camille, but he was so much more than Camille, he was loyal and truly loved him. Magnus lost him, he was careless with him, never took down his walls, he didn’t want to scare Imasu off, but in the end, he walked away like everyone else he’s loved. 

Not everyone, never everyone, he had Ragnor. 

Ragnor was there. Doing nothing but drinking and relaxing, Caterina was there too, but she was busy with official business.

Magnus laid his palm out flat and brought his hand to his lips, the pendant rested in his hands as he held it as delicately as a flower, and he kissed it, it tasted like Imasu, tangy and like saltwater, like stolen kisses and licks on his skin, like Imasu playing the charango, his laughter as Magnus tired to play. 

A tear dropped on his palm, he hardly felt it hit, wrapped up in memories thick as fog and emotions deep as a sinkhole. Imasu with his head thrown back in laughter, his rumpled hair falling back, dark eyes shining, his nimble fingers making beautiful music as he struck at the strings almost lazily. 

The way he would bite his lip as he played, eyes closed and utterly absorbed in his music. Magnus kissed the pendant again like it was a holy relic given by Heaven itself. 

He pocketed the necklace and took a step outside, into the bright Peru sun and a street filled with color, purples, and blues covering the stalls of the market, slow music plays from a local band, the smells of spices mixing with the smell of meet. Clothing hangs out in the wind and sellers bargain with customers over the patterned clothes, made of colorful fabric to celebrate the summer. 

Bags and scarves hang down, blown by the wind and long carpets wave with them from a neighboring stall. There was fruit piled high along the edge another big stall, the sweat smell meeting Magnus’ nose. 

Magnus walked down the cluttered street and he gets lost in the crowd, in the press of bodies, the diverging paths, and rushers running in between people without care. People walking with food and chattering with friends as they step over trash and lose beads that litter the floor.  

The smell of water and sand from the beach a few blocks over and laughter coming from every angle as kids run wild and adults drink to their heart's content.  

Magnus spots Ragnor by the band, his blue short sleeved shirt unbuttoned as he basks in the sun like a lizard, his eyes closed but still says, “What are doing back so early Magnus?”  

“Do you not want my company, my dear cabbage,” Magnus responded as he sat down next to Ragnor, with a long sigh. 

Ragnor hummed uncommitted and tapped his fingers to upbeat music. 

“Me Imasu broke up,” Magnus cut to the chase as he picked a piece of unknown meet coated in red spices and a dark sauce from what the assumed is Ranor’s plate sitting on the table. 

Ragnor opened one eye, “why?” 

“He said I was the most ephemeral person he has ever met,” Magnus said as dismissively as he could muster. 

Ragnor watched him for a second before he closed his eyes. “You really need to learn how to let down your walls.” 

“I was taking things slow,” Magnus defended, stealing another piece of meat from the plate, the tangy flavor delighted his taste buds. “He didn’t want to know about all my baggage.” 

“I’m sure he did, but you never want to let people in, not after Camille.”    

Magnus shrugged and licked the spicy sauce off his fingers, he didn’t need to be counseled he just, needed to be around someone.  

“It just didn’t work out,” Magnus licked his lips, watching as Ragnor sat up and buttoned up his shirt. “We both wanted different things.”

Ragnor leaned forward, stretching out, and rolled his shoulders. He turned to face Magnus, who sat beside him, “I warned you,” Ragnor said, but it didn’t feel like an I told you so, it felt sad.

_ “Be careful Magnus. Or someone will get hurt.”  _

“Love is complicated,” Rangor added unhelpfully.

“Is it better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all?” Magnus mused to the air. 

“So you were in love,” Ragnor smirked and slapped Magnus’ hand away from his plate, he slung an arm around Magnus’ shoulders, his skin was hot against Magnus’ arm. 

“I was,” Magnus admitted, not leaning into the touch, but he didn’t shrug it off either. He looked down at the dirt street, imprinted with a puzzle of footprints

“Why not go and win him back, tell him how you feel, and why you distanced yourself, ” Ragnor’s hand squeezed his upper arm. 

“I—” Magnus bit his lip,  _ why didn't he fight.  _ “I want him to remember me in a good way, not as an old warlock.”

Ragnor shook his head but said nothing. He didn't move his arm and Magnus didn't want him to. 

* * *

 

Ragnor and Magnus drifted little apart as they both lived their lives in very different styles, but they make sure that at least every decade they get together. 

So when Ragnor portaled to Magnus’ Manhattan home, in a loft over the dazzling city. 

They drink a lot. 

They shed their skin, their fancy outfits, and personas forgotten as they wear comfortable pajamas.

So as they lay across the floor on the plush carpets Magnus resting his head on Ragnor's shoulder. 

“Why keep me around,” Magnus slurred out. 

“You're fun.”

“I’m needy, never really give anything, ” Magnus said like Ragnor had never spoken. “I just always need something.”

“Everyone needs something.”

Magnus brushed him off. “I wouldn't keep me as a friend.”

“I would,” Ragnor said, sounding every bit the Greek philosopher and ancient scholar Magnus teased him about being. “You're a good man Magnus, trust me I know, ” he swallowed hard, “ _ everything.” _

“I wish I could take care of myself better.”

“You're my friend, ” Ragnor continued, ignoring Magnus. “That's what friendship is, helping each other, you certainly help me.”

Magnus laughed. That couldn't be possible.

“It's true.”

“Not it's not, ” Magnus managed between fits of laughter, verging on hysterical  

“It is, ” Ragnor said more forcefully this time. “I need a friend sometimes too.” 

Magus stared at him, his glamor long gone, and his eyes shone in the darkness, illuminating Ragnor.

“I like being wanted, having people, I don't want to  _ fade,  _  I want to live and love and take care of people.”

Magnus nodded and tucked his head back into Ragnor's shirt, not wanting to let Ragnor see him cry. 

He sniffled, thankful for the haze from drinking.

“It makes me feel real,” Ragnor whispered.

* * *

 

The war is terrifying. It's like the Holocaust, like everything Magnus ever feared in the Nephilim come to life. 

He hides. Most of the Downworld does the same. He and Ragnor meet back up in a safe house he helped set up 

“Magnus,” He greeted, dressed in a dark suit with a long jacket. “What are you doing in the south side of the England countryside.”

“A good place for a safe house.” He smiled at Ragnor, his anxiety knotting his stomach up. 

“If you need anything—”

“Where are you going?” It comes out panicked and Magnus tells himself to take a deep breath and chill out. 

“I can't endanger others, Valentine is looking for a powerful warlock, and my money says I'm on the list.”

“Be careful my dear little cabbage.” 

“I will.” 

* * *

 

Only fire messages were exchanged over the next eighteen years, some confirmation that ‘yes I am alive and doing alright’ and ‘I’ve retired and am chilling out.’

They never got around to seeing each other, Ragnor busy with retirement, Magnus being the High Warlock of Brooklyn and running Pandemonium. 

They didn’t see each other until the day Ragnor died, hand grasping his and eyes dead. His ghost comes to visit him sometimes,

maybe it’s a hallucination,

but it’s  _ him.  _

He sits there on a cold December night, Alexander with his head Magnus’ lap, his breathing even and most definitely asleep.  

“You were always a sap,” the familiar snobby British accent of Ragnor Fell is heard, unfortunately so is his body, in the clothing he died in. 

Magnus rolled his eyes, running his hands through Alexander’s hair and toying with the black strands.

“You’re welcome,” Ragnor said, arrogantly and gestured to Alexander. 

“Thank you,” Magnus was only being semi-sarcastic. “But you always loved a happy ending.” 

“I loved tragedies,” Ragnor corrected. 

“So you said,” Magnus smiled down at Alec, “But you always wanted me to find mine.” 

“I’m dead how happy can you be.” 

“If your dead then why are you still talking,” Magnus said with as much love as possible. 

Ragnor rolled his eyes fondly. “This suits you, healthy love.” 

“It does,” Magnus smoothed his thumb over Alec’s forehead.

“Good, I thought you’d be helpless without me.”

“Oh darling you know I am,” Magnus teased,  he really did miss Ragnor but he was getting better. 

Ragnor smiled and when Magnus blinked he wasn’t there. 

“Who were you talking too,” Alec murmured, his voice rugged with sleep, Alec rolled onto his back, so that they were staring into each other's eyes. 

“An old friend.” 

“A good friend?” Alec asked, knowing his history of having some enemies. 

He leaned down and kissed Alec, chaste and gently, his fingers twirling in Alec’s hair. “The best.” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow, 4k words for one chapter, but you made it to the end, as always suggestions are open and kudos and comments are appreciated.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus + Alec’s deflect rune

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter rating M nonexplicit sexual content

Magnus dropped down on the outdoor couch on his balcony, he stared out at the familiar view of tall buildings and glowing lights. Alec sat down next to him and set his cell phone next to him. He stretched an arm around Magnus’s shoulders and as Magnus turned into to him, Alec watched Magnus with a strange look in his eyes.

“What?” Magnus asked, not feeling self-conscious but _exposed,_ as is Alexander could see through all his walls and layers he put up. “Why are looking at me like that?”

“Because,” Alec leaned down so their lips were a breath apart, a smile on his face he kissed Magnus’ check. “You’re beautiful.” Alec’s hand clasped his and their intertwined fingers rested on Alec’s thigh.

Magnus pressed a hand to Alec’s shoulder, he playfully pushed it. Magnus didn’t blush, he was a centuries-old warlock, he didn’t blush when his boyfriend called him beautiful. But Magnus felt heat go to his face—it was mostly hidden by his tan skin but he felt it—maybe it was because of how Alec said it, looking at Magnus like he loved Magnus and he meant every word.

Magnus ran his fingers over Alec’s shoulder and up his neck, the _deflect rune_ stood out against his skin and felt rough to Magnus’ touch. Alec gasped a little, his own hand tightened around Magnus’ shoulder.

Magus raised an eyebrow and Alec bit his lips as he realized what he just did. Magnus traced around the border of the rune and pulled Alec closer by the back of his neck. Magnus froze, he didn’t want to push, he never wanted to push Alec.

“The runes,” Alec said breathlessly, his hand slithered down Magnus' shoulder to his back and secured over Magnus’ waist, it was warm through the soft fabric of Magnus’ shirt. “Are um sensitive,” Alec added, he stared into Magnus’ glamoured eyes. Magnus ran a single finger over the rune and Alec shivered under the touch, his pupils blown. “Not that I’ve tested it much.”

Magnus hummed and slid his hand so it curled around Alec's neck, his thumb fitted against the underside of Alec's jaw. Alec smiled and leaned in, he kissed Magnus on lips, soft and chaste but an underlying heat rested below the kiss.

Magnus could feel it in how the pressure of the kiss changed, mouths opened and hands moved around, they caressed and explored.

Magnus pulled back, his hand left Alec's neck to rest on his chest. Alec stared at him, his cheeks were flushed and mouth opened a little, his breaths, short and rasped.

Magnus licked his lips at the sight and leaned down to kiss at Alec’s jaw, he shifted to get a better angle and dipped down to mouth over the deflect rune. Alec’s hand around his waist slipped under his shirt, it touched bare skin, it was comforting like no touch has been to him in a while. Alec’s fingers spread out, feeling as much skin as he could, his hand was warm but Mangus shivered.

Magnus nipped at Alec’s neck, Mangus moved his hand down Alec’s chest to over his waist. Alec’s hand was calloused from his bow but Magnus didn’t find.

Magnus knew he should slow down, savor the moment,  Alec’s touch was a delicacy, but it would be there later, maybe for a long time. So Magnus swirled his tongue over the rune, nipped at the skin and pulled back.

Alec dropped his head into the crook of Magnus’ neck, where his neck meets his shoulder, overlayed with necklaces, Alec painted and down his neck was flushed. Alec ran his thumb over Magnus’s ringed fingers, he outlined the edges of the engraved golds and silvers, fingers spun around the black onyx ring and its bed of gold. Alec’s hand slipped from Magnus’ hand, to hold at Magnus’ hip and his lips mouthed and kissed at Magnus’ Adam's apple.

Alec’s hands were gentle but firm and electrifying, sending sparks over his skin, building stronger, like waves in the ocean, spiraling into a whirlpool, like tides pulled in by the moon and for now, Magnus was fine with drowning.

Alec trailed up to Mangus' mouth and they kissed, like fire meeting gunpowder and both of them in the fire, they were the fire, burning hotter with each second of their lips and bodies pressed together.

* * *

 

Magnus closed his cat eyes, Alec told him he was beautiful even with his demonic eyes. He opened his eyes for a moment, stared right into Alec’s hazel eyes and kissed Alec again. He kept his eyes closed as long as he could, as they found their rhythm, Alec pulled Magnus back over him, as mouths opened and tongues met. They broke apart and Magnus didn’t open his eyes.

Mangus felt his magic humming under his skin, the lack of control concerning, he almost stopped, it was almost too much. He couldn’t look at Alec again, from his vision under his eyelids he leaned down to kiss at the _deflect rune,_ Magnus hid his face against Alec’s neck, his hands went to Alec’s shoulders to brace himself. Alec gasped, his hands tightened around Magnus’ waist.

Magnus scrapped his teeth over the rune, rough and like the burn it was, the rune tingled against his teeth. Alec’s fingers danced over the hem of Magnus’ shirt. Magnus bit right under the rune and Alec’s hands fell from the hem to on Magnus’ skin.

“Magnus,” Alec breathed. “The runes are—”

Magnus nipped at the faint red mark. “Sensitive,” Magnus finished. “I know.” Magnus dragged his teeth over the mark, making Alec shiver. “Why do you think I’m doing it,” Magnus whispered in Alec’s ear and nipped over the angelic rune.

Alec jolted, his hands reached over to pull of Magnus’s shirt. Magnus let him remove his shirt. He heard Alec’s intake of breath. Magus smoothed his hands over Alec’s skin, he felt the other runes, rough and raised up.

Magnus moved his head from Alec’s neck and they stared for a moment, it wasn’t emotionless sex like he’d been having, this was intimacy like he hasn’t had in a while, Magnus was letting down a wall, taking off a mask. Letting the _energy_ burn like a _star,_  building, and _building_ and they were almost _exploding._

Almost. Pants were still on, but Magnus could feel it, bone-deep. Alec ran his hands over Magnus’ exposed torso, not taking his eyes of Magnus’ eyes. Alec leaned forward and kissed him again, messy and quick but filled with the energy and passion Magnus could feel thick in the air.

Mangus ducked his head back down to kissed and nibbled at Alec’s rune covered neck. He closed his eyes again and felt as Alec tilted his head to give Magnus’ better access.

Magnus continued to mouth at Alec's neck. Alec rolled his hips against Magnus. “Alexander, ” Magnus gasped. Any hope of keeping his cat eyes hidden has faded.  

Alec’s hand moved up Magnus’ arm to his neck, Alec tilted Magnus’ head up from its ministrations on his neck and just _looked_ at Magnus. A smile broke out on Alec's face.

“Do you have a thing for my neck?” Alec asked, light and teasing.

Magnus fought the urge to close his eyes and bent his head down to drag his teeth over Alec's pulse point.

“Maybe,” Magnus said after a beat of silence. Magnus felt the tension ease out of his body at the joking. “I happen—” a kiss to the hollow of Alec's throat, “to know—” a kiss on Alec's chest. “That you _have a thing_ for my—”

“Everything, ” Alec said, his hand wandering _everywhere_ but settled on Magnus’ waistband.

“I was going to say my arms, ” Magnus put his had on Alec's wrist and nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do I have a thing for Alec's neck rune, probably? If I didn't before I do now.  
> Updates should be monthly  
> Tumblr @bread-loving-fangirl


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for a lot of fluff, like a lot.

Magnus bought the new apartment as fast as he could, he needed a place to call his own. His and Alexander’s, he corrected himself. It was an apartment, three bed (walk-in closet), three baths, a large living room, and a balcony with an overview of the city but not the same view he new.

His magic was gone, he had almost forgotten the terrible feeling it brought, the disconnection to the world. The helplessness. He pushed it to the back of his mind, told himself to breathe. 

Alec trailed behind him, the keys dangled in one hand and the other remained locked in Magnus’, he ran his thumb over the back of Magnus’ hand and looked around at the barley decorated apartment.

Alec pocketed the keys and pulled Magnus close with a hand on his lower back, they were chest to chest and Alec was smiling so brightly when he leaned in to kiss Magnus. The kiss was short, almost chaste and Magnus rested his hand over Alec’s shoulder as they pulled apart.

“You know Alexander,” Magnus said and adjusted them, angled their entangled hands up so they could dance. “When I was unconscious I dreamed of you.”

Alec ducked his head, a blush ran up his cheeks with Magnus’ words. “Really?” Alec asked. “What happened in your dream.” 

“A few things,” Magnus hinted with a smile. “You made me waffles then asked me to dance.” 

“Dance? After my two left feet last time.”

“Yeah,” Magnus said and started to lead Alec in small circles as they stared into each other's eyes. “You said you’ve been practicing.” 

Alec chuckled. “Sorry to disappoint.”

Magnus pulled back and took Alec’s hands, he still remembered it, all his other dreams blurred or he simply forgot them, but this one stuck with him. 

“I can teach you.” 

Alec hesitated, looked around. “Why not.” 

Magnus turned on music and led him through it, guided him through the ball change and crosses with ease, it was simple, then the spun and Alec dipped him, a proud smile on his lips as Magnus stood up and spun back. It was Alec’s turn, he spun the wrong way but he ended up in the right position, he spun back out, his hand clasped tightly in Magnus’. 

“What now?” Alec asked and Magnus showed him the next series of steps, the opposite side steps, and the jazz square switches, with some setbacks they were back to tightly pressed against each other and spinning. 

“This is as far as it went, then everything started to spin too fast and I couldn’t stay on my feet,” Magnus said. “All you said was ‘Magnus stay with me’ and pulled me closer when I almost fell.” Magnus pressed himself closer to Alec and Alec held him tighter. “Then it all was too much and I couldn’t hold onto you any longer,” Magnus squeezed Alec’s hand. “Our hands slid apart and… I called out your name and you said again, ‘Magnus stay with me.” 

Alec almost stepped on Magnus’ foot as they slowly spun around. “That’s what I was saying in real life,” Alec was watching him with so much love in his eyes that Magnus almost missed a step. “I kept saying it, I hoped you would hear me.” 

Magnus stepped out and wordlessly Alec stepped out too, ball change cross, tightly they hand each other’s hand. Maybe it was the runes for the mind and body that made Alec learn it so fast. It didn’t matter though.

Magnus spun, anchored by Alec’s hand and then attached Magnus’ arm over his shoulders. “You’re speechless,” Alec echoed his dream self. 

Magnus twirled back out, the sunlight framed Alec well, bathed him in gold and he looked stunning in his dark clothes and slightly messed up hair. Alec spun and Magnus dipped him. “You said nearly the same thing in my dream Alexander,” Magnus led Alec back out to stand beside him. “I’m many things right now.” 

“Is that what you said in your dream too?” Alec asked his breath in Magnus' ear as the did the opposite side steps and Alec’s hands were tight on Magnus’ waist and he was closer then he needed to be to Magnus’ back. Magnus felt the electricity in Alec’s touch, Magnus felt alive as he moved his feet to the music, leading Alec along. Breathing became easy with Alec by him, the cords that almost strangled him loosened, the cords that bound him from the world, from his magic.

Magnus took Alec’s hand again and continued through the dance, on the small jump, “yes,” he answered. Alec beamed and they were pressed close together again, in small circles they spun and spun until they were still.  They stood there, caught in each other's arms and both holding so tight it wasn’t surprising that they never wanted to slip from each other again. 

“I love you,” Alec said, he almost always says it first.

“I love you too.” Magnus hoped that Alec knew how much he truly meant it. 

Alec laughed almost to himself. “You know the Nephilim have a saying I always thought was bullshit.” 

Magnus had a suspicion, he remembers Will, Jem and Tessa, they all loved each other so much, Will would write songs and poems about it, would tell him of silly Shadowhunter sayings about love. 

“Is it the one about how Nephilim only love once,” Magnus said. “I think it’s true for most Shadowhunters, the loyal ones, the ones who are even open for love.” 

Magnus has loved and loved and lost, but he has a saying of his own, for all immortal people,  _ true love never dies,  _ he’s had to believe it to get by.

“I always thought it was because divorce is looked down on, marriage is almost always political for some reason or another, or most Shadowhunters just die before they can fall out of love.”

They’d started to sway during Alec’s speech and this time Alec started to lead them in circles, moving with suave and grace. 

“Where are you going with this, Alexander?” Alec seemed to have chickened out of what he was going to say next. 

“I went to see my mother today,” Alec said still staring into Magnus’ eyes with such passion that Magnus let him continue on whatever point he was trying to make. “I made her cry.” 

Magnus drew back, now a little confused. “What?” 

Alec smiled, his hand fell away from Magnus' waist and slid into his pocket. “Happy tears I think,” Alec said and he took a deep breath. “She owns enough antiques now, I think she was happy to get this off her hands,” Alec pulled out a ring. The Lightwood family ring, Magnus knew enough Shadowhunters to know what to expect, he still gasped and his heart skipped a beat when Alec dropped down to one knee. 

Holding the ring in one hand and Magnus’ hand in the other, he stared up at Magnus. “I think you’re my One, seeing you almost die…” Alec’s voice was wrought with emotion as he trailed off. “You’re my world Magnus, I can’t live without you, I want to spend all the time I have with you. So, Magnus Bane, will you marry me?” 

Magnus fell to his knees, no one has ever proposed to him, ever wanted to spend their lives. He’s never been someone's world. He cupped Alec’s face, took the ring and he quickly slipped in on his ring finger and he kissed Alec, murmured yes against his lips a few times. 

Magnus blinked away tears when they stood up, it didn’t feel real until Alec had taken his hand back and placed a kiss by the ring, his eyes too, looked on the verge of tears. 

Magnus pulled Alec back in for another kiss, clutched at his Alexander and their kiss was soft and adoring. Alec stepped back and with a smirk, he led Magnus in a whirl and dipped him. “I love you,” Alec said again. 

“I love you too.” 


End file.
